Feature Poet Susan Sherman: Page 1
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there is nothing romantic about death about pain tears falling like soft clouds like copper clouds the color of rusted blood the texture of fire the first enemy is fear the second power the third old age all my life all those books all those feelings words thoughts experiences to say such simple words to feel such simple things your mountains like my own like home rows of dust of light brown soil as if a gentle wind could level them could blow them away the sea touching my nostrils filling them a country of smell of sound of wine flowers of salt air of early morning opening and opening through my mind my heart the extremities of my hands my feet if I were a bird and could float dipping and weaving tapestries of air and light if we could fly together like silver crows birds of dream until everything stops is silent and gentle like your songs your voice but the world allows us nothing the world is nerves is fiber dust and sand the world changes constantly nothing remains the same I see you singing into the air as if your voice could fly be free were there creatures above you listening fishing your gifts from the breeze was there a place that could hold you as you opened yourself to it as you went where no one else could follow where no one else could see each time I have loved I have left part of myself behind until now 1 am mostly memory mostly dream what I have left I give to you my last love my last song the total of all I have ever felt or known we grow smaller as we grow as things empty themselves of us and we of them it is so deep this thing between us no name can contain it even time trembles at its touch
Will they cry for us when we have gone
the objects that adorn our lives
When we have left will they miss our touch
our need for them
Do they know they are the chosen ones
or do they fear we will tire of them
set them aside bound as they are by our desire
not theirs
A ball point pen white with gold bands
imported from France birthday gift
from a beloved friend A fountain pen
sun yellow with black enamel tip
Relics of an earlier age
Forty Oz books hidden from prying eyes
Well worn novels books of religion
philosophy the occult long out of print
All those books we hold dear have kept through years
with leather bindings colorful illustrations
childhood dreams
Even the magazines we treasure worthless
to others A college t-shirt now sizes too small
A pair of boots useless but prized
A turquoise necklace from an old lover
too full of memories to wear
All the things we refuse to throw away
Each one holding a piece of our past
No longer here people may cry for us
but even those who hold us dear
at a certain point move on Our objects
belong to us alone We have left part of ourselves
behind in them
Lacrimae rerum: the tears of things
Do they love us as we love them
Will they weep for us when we are gone
and quiet Summer over passing graceless heavy from the city I hear the rain and think of you your hands rain your eyes rain the way you speak and walk rain the sound of it the smell what it brings what it leaves behind If I were somewhere else If you were there with me if we were there together if it were solid space a place we could lie talk think look at the sky touch if it were raining if we sat there together touched there together in the rain I think of rain as green I think of rain as brown blue as color without light as light without color as part of me barely like memory like dream I think of you as rain as I see you in rain as I wait for you in rain as outside summer passes and rain falls as it closes me lightly in its sleep
who was more to me than words any blending of alphabet and sound We met at the corners of day in the space where night crosses light where shadows fold into darkness The moments between our meetings were air Forty years lie between her and this poem a length of time impossible to render There was a woman once who was more to me than imagination wonder the chimeras that embrace the night More than the chill kiss of wind that tortured her secret into patterns of light and breeze A woman who was more to me than forever the bending of syllable and time We met on a hilltop in Vermont made love in the sweetgrass of our desire These are moments that defy forgetting These are moments time cannot cure with detail noise distraction Mornings that bound us sticky and tight with dew There was a woman once who was more to me than flesh We touched to open and then once again to close the way a negative is held over wary eyes to keep the sun from blinding in the madness of its fire What lay between us was that strong What joined us was that fierce Lying in each others arms Married she had never meant for us to happen had seen me as diversion a momentary lapse Now she called me treasure promised to keep me always cherished hidden in her private place but forever is a length of time like any other One afternoon precisely at the stroke of one she lapsed into a silence without boundary The air lay like a tomb around us She could not look at me touch me say my name She had never meant it to go so far It had become too much for her to bear This woman who meant more to me than words Should I be grateful thank whatever gods or goddesses gifted me this passion this legacy I cannot relinquish cast aside Forever is a length of time without forgiveness After thirty years I search for her no longer but for that moment between opening and distance when I held her close Not yet knowing enough to turn away