An Old Widow Dreams

I am my own best company
at last. No one to wait on,
no one to serve. Instead of worry
of what will please him,
I learn to please myself,
relax. Sleep when I wish,
not hearing his snores.
rise when I feel rested,
open my eyes in the empty room,
Oh, how I miss the hum of his tune.

Loll and read, leave
books on the table,
clothes on a chair, his chair.
Oh, how I miss him his care.

I please myself at last,
enjoy solitude, my thoughts are mine,
uninterrupted by unspoken needs,
no laundering his smelly underwear,
cooking his favorite meals,
to please and care….
Oh, how I miss cooking for him.

Lonely, but calm,
singing my own psalm,
as the sky grows bigger
and full of expanding multi-universes
of exploding stars,
unknown is what we really are,
no center in vast eternity,
my own best company,
Alone with our past.

Oh, how I miss him,
forever, at last.